Have you ever had the mental dilemma of looking at the ground and seeing a very familiar, unique, red liquid on the ground and look all over the place trying to find the source and them saying to your self.... "oh shit that's my blood." I am having that feeling right now. I have been in a place where i am using a line from grey's anatomy where Bailey tells her ex- husband that she is only composed of tape and glue and all her energy is being put toured that effort. And that she has no energy to share away from just keeping her self together with the glue and the tape. Right now all that is hold me together is tape and glue and the all came undone. The over coming numbness is engulfing me right now. I am broken and i guess that is a good thing. Because there is no where to go but up. I just got deferred on my acceptance letter. I will now not find out till April if i get in to moody. And hell yes there will be getting a call from my bright and early Monday morning. But still I am in a really gross place. I know have to decide if i an even going to go back to Spokane. Why could my life just be easy on this one park. Oh because that would be to convenient. Look i really am ok. In a shit fest, yes, but am i going to do something reckless well not likely. But still this really sucks. So i am ok, this post was just to let you know what y moody letter said. And i will be calling some of you but I am not in the mode right now. Love you,
AL
Dear Allison,
ReplyDeleteStay home. Come home. You don't need to let people in an office marked "admissions" have the last say in your future. You're so much more valuable than that.
i just want to hug you right now, for your amazing heart. theres something to find in the wait....have an adventure until april!
ReplyDeleteAl--
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear this. Getting deferred is the worst--it just means more waiting. Sometimes a definitive "no" feels like it would be easier.
But...hope is still there...and I am thinking of you and hoping that you get into Chicago.
When I was a senior in high school I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to go to UNC-Chapel Hill. I sent in my application and then got deferred. I was holding out all winter to hear back from them. In the spring I got word that I did not get in. I was so disappointed, and I will never forget that day.
I don't want this story to be a downer for you--I guess I just say this because I think I understand your disappointment here quite a bit. I never had an amazing college experience. There were some great times for me during college, but overall, I just couldn't wait to be done with it. I walked away from college with some great friends, but overall, it was far from the best years of my life. The best of life was still yet to come when I was in college. If I had gone to Chapel Hill, it is doubtful that I'd have joined the Air Force and then met Chris. So wherever you end up next year, I hope you know that He is shaping all of this...and the best is yet to come ;)
Love you Al, and sorry for your news. We'll be waiting with you until you hear again in the spring.