Not becoming cold part 1

"Don't give up, don't go cold, you're closer to moving on. If it don't hurt, then it's wrong so lets hurt for awhile 'till we feel something."

Well alrighty them. This line comes from a band that I was recently introduced to with the help of Spotify. I don't have time to write to much about where I'm at. I have a blog in progress and really a knowledge that because I have not written in a while no one is reading my blog. Which if I'm honest allows me to have a freedom to just bleed onto the pages and become like Meg Ryan in "You've got Mail" where she is typing to her email pal (Tom Hanks) and talks about how she is could just be writing in to the void of what is the Internet, but how all these silly little nothing (conversation between the two of them) have been nothing but that they have meant something to her. Blogging means something to me. Even if no one reads it or even knows I'm here, there is the possibility that there is someone somewhere who is out there who stumbles upon this small little space on the Internet that is called the Muddy Smile. And that for me it meant something to say a few words about my life. This song hit my heart today. There is a space in which I am waiting, and choosing not to give up and not to become cold because I know that there is beauty in the midst of deep pain and sadness, and that you can not feel the joy if you don't allow your self to feel the pain. So I sit in this oversized Starbucks in downtown Chicago, holding back tears of familiarity allowing my self to feel the pain, and wait in anticipation for the joy.